…and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 NIV
What are you giving your Dad this Fathers’ Day? How about something that will cost you nothing…except your pride and your need to be right? Something worth more than all the shirts and fishing gear and steak dinners put together? A gift that can yield you both peace into eternity?
Most of you know my father was an alcoholic. “Bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor” (vs. 31) echoed through our house on many nights, sending me under the covers, trembling in fear.
But he wasn’t always like that. When he was sober, he shared my love of history and a good story, enjoyed singing funny songs to make us laugh, cherished his beloved football and baseball games—first on radio and then TV.
I never knew which man was walking in the door at the end of the day.
I now understand things I didn’t know back then—how my great-grandfather had abandoned the family when my grandfather was little, leaving a sad legacy of men not knowing how to be fathers. How my father was forced by the Depression into a job (in sales) he was completely unsuited for, how he fought down the fear of rejection and failure every day in order to make a living. How he worked in a milieu saturated by alcohol, one in which a man was measured by how well he could “hold his liquor.” How admitting he couldn’t and getting help to overcome it was more humiliation than he could bear.
Knowing how life wounded him helps me forgive him. Bible teacher Joyce Meyer, who knows a few things about forgiving a toxic family, says “Hurt people hurt people.”
Life in this broken world wounds us all. We all then do things which hurt other people—usually the ones closest to us. We all fail to live up to the potential God created in us.
That’s why Jesus came.
On the cross I believe He took all our failures, imperfections and sins upon Himself. Because of Jesus’ sacrifice, God pours His blessed balm of forgiveness on my wounds, offers me love and healing and acceptance without condition.
How can I then refuse to offer that same forgiveness and love to my father?
My Dad never repented. It doesn’t matter. My Dad never asked for my forgiveness. That doesn’t matter, either. I forgive him as God through Christ forgave me.
So we are both free.
FATHER GOD: Through and because of Jesus, I forgive my father for his failure to be the Dad I needed. May my children forgive me. Amen.
First published in “Bozeman Daily Chronicle,” June 16, 2019.
This is how God showed his love among us; He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice… 1 John 4:9,10 NIV
I had a faith-affirming experience last week.
On our way to Salt Lake City, we listened to “The Case for a Creator” by Lee Strobel. I was blown away.
Now you have to understand that, though I live in a family of scientists, I’m not one. I took what little I learned in high school 60 years ago, boxed it up and tossed it in the far corner of my mind, telling myself science was “not my thing.” I now realize I was afraid that learning more would destroy my faith.
I needn’t have worried.
For now, as Strobel shows in many interviews with highly respected scientists in different areas of study, the cutting edge of scientific research is pointing toward God, not away from Him. They now believe there was, indeed, a moment, nick-named “the Big Bang,” when the universe was created. What’s more, the incredible complexity of the universe in general, the fine-tuning of the parameters of life in particular, leads them to the conclusion of an Intelligent Creator.
We call Him God.
Just the small glimpse these scientists give of His wonder leaves me gasping and groping for words. How can such an Awesome Being notice me at all, let alone love me?
“That’s why I came,” whispered the Voice of Jesus. “That’s what the cross was for.”
Ahh. Of course.
We can never understand or explain the magnificent Mind Who created the universe. But we can understand Jesus Who, in the words of Paul: “…taking the very nature of a servant, (was) made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross!” Philippians 2:7,8
Why did He do this? Why would this amazing God humble Himself enough to take on the problems and limitations of human life? To be born as a helpless baby? To grow up subject to the care and instruction of fallible human parents, to become tired and thirsty and hungry? Even, as John Eldredge points out, to walk everywhere? Why should God allow Himself to be betrayed and rejected, to suffer on the cross, taking on the full forces of evil, sin and darkness?
For love. For love so amazing it should drop us to our knees in awe.
LORD JESUS: When I doubt Your love, remind me Who You are. Point me to the Cross. Amen.
To be published in “Bozeman Daily Chronicle,” April 7, 2019.
He (God) Himself has said, “I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. (I will) not, (I will) not, (I will) not in any degree leave you helpless not forsake nor let (you) down (relax my hold on you)! (Assuredly not!)” Hebrews 13:5 Amplified
Last Sunday, our church celebrated the fulfillment of this amazing promise…and we didn’t even plan it.
As the service began, our pastor’s wife, who is also the choir director, prefaced their anthem by reminding us that it’s five years since our pastor was at death’s door.
He had gone to Minneapolis for surgery—a tricky procedure, but one we weren’t terribly worried about. Tricky procedures are almost commonplace these days.
Sadly, this one went awry, leaving our pastor in a coma which lasted nine long days, while we wondered if he would wake up at all, or what he would be like when he did. His family kept vigil at his side while we waited for the email updates and fell on our faces in prayer. How well I remember the day we learned he had opened his eyes, when he talked, when they got him up walking for the first time. It felt like a miracle.
It still does.
For it was a dark time for our congregation, too. Our former pastor had just retired and moved to Choteau to care for his elderly mother. This man was scheduled to take over. Whatever would we do now? We felt helpless–like sheep without a shepherd.
But we were not. God did not fail us or leave us without support. He provided some great pastors to fill in—including one who went on to be our pastor’s fulltime associate. The church pulled together and became closer than we ever had been.
Now, five years later, our pastor stands before us—preaching, teaching, leading as he was called to do. He has even been strong to manage on his own for months at a time. Now, we all rejoice that we have just called a new young pastor, enthusiastic and full of energy, to share the load.
Our pastor has lived to minister among us, celebrate his childrens’ weddings, welcome four grandchildren into the world—including the latest, born just this week. And she was delivered by my own daughter-in-law!
It was, as the French say, “a good moment.”
As the choir sang the song that sustained our pastor’s family during that dark time, we remembered…
FATHER GOD: You are faithful. You do, indeed, keep Your promises! You will, indeed, never fail or forsake us. We are, indeed, grateful. What a wonder…and a joy. Amen.
To be published in “Bozeman Daily Chronicle,” February 24, 2019.
“Behold, a virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and his name shall be called Emmanuel” (which means, God with us). Matthew 1:23 RSV
Christmas is over—really, truly over. Last week, I packed the much-loved decorations back in their boxes, hauled them down to the cellar, stacked them away. I’ve done this every year for over 50 years but it never gets easier. Or more fun.
Someone wrote that taking down Christmas is like saying good-bye to a beloved old friend.
When I allow my soul to wail like a kid after a birthday party, I lose sight of God’s Christmas gift, the one all this celebration is about, the gift given for today, tomorrow and all eternity:
Jesus: God with us.
In the person of Jesus,
God: the master and creator of the mind-blowing universe, the One Who names the innumerable stars (Isaiah 40:25), Who is so beyond understanding that He identified Himself to Moses as “I AM WHO I AM” (Exodus 2:14)…
decided to dwell among and with…
Us, His frail and struggling beings on a tiny planet in the far corner of His vast creation. With you. With me.
To reconcile us to Himself. To show us the Way. To give us eternal life.
It’s called the Incarnation.
Max Lucado, in his wonderful book, “Unshakable Hope,” sums it up like this: “The star maker, for a time, built cabinets in Nazareth.”
Wow. Selah. (Pause and think carefully about that.)
Why did God do it? Out of love—incomprehensible, unfathomable love. But in order to lead us, He had to become one of us.
Listen to Lucado again: “Had Jesus simply descended to earth in the form of a mighty being, we would respect him but never draw near to him. After all, how could God understand what it means to be human?
Had Jesus been biologically conceived with two earthly parents, we would draw near to him, but would we want to worship him? After all, he would be no different than you and me.
…So human he could touch his people. So mighty he could heal them. So human he spoke with an accent. So heavenly he spoke with authority. …All man. Yet all God.”
Adjectives fail before the wonder. And, what’s more wonderful yet: the Incarnation is as true now as it was in that manger long years ago, as true this morning as it was on a tender candle-lit Christmas Eve, surrounded by friends and family.
God with us: the one Christmas gift we can’t lose, break or box away. The one that shines bright—forever.
FATHER GOD: You love me. You are with me. Right now. Right here. Amazing. But true. Amen.
To be published in Bozeman Daily Chronicle, January 20, 2019.
Each one must do as he has made up his mind, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to provide you with every blessing in abundance, so that you may always have enough of everything and may provide in abundance for every good work. 2 Corinthians 9:7 RSV
Do you want to increase your joy this Christmas season? Try some “hilarious giving.”
The term came to me from radio preacher Charles Swindoll when he said that the Greek word translated as “cheerful” in this passage is “hilaros”—obviously connected to our English word, “hilarious.”
“Be,” he said, “a hilarious giver”—meaning one who gives above and beyond, who is unexpectedly generous.
Writer Ann Voskamp, in her wonderful book, “The Greatest Gift,” refined the idea for me. During the Advent season, she and her family did all kinds of crazy, unexpected things, like:
- scattering dollar bills up and down the aisles in the Dollar Store.
- buying coffee for people in line at Starbuck’s.
- giving the clerk at the grocery store extra money for the person behind them.
- taking flowers to all the folks at a nursing home.
- over-tipping the waitress when they had lunch.
- making cookies for the local firemen.
You get the idea. I did, too. Right now, I have an envelope in my purse, waiting for the opportunity, that Nudge from God that this is the person to bless, that this is moment to spread His love and joy.
At this season, we’re also asked to give to all kinds of worthy charities. I do some of that, too, and it’s certainly appropriate. But I get more fun out of giving immediate, unexpected gifts to people I don’t know. They may need the gift; they may not. They may spend it foolishly. That’s not mine to decide.
But in this dark, crazy world we live in, who doesn’t need a blessing, a touch of “hilarious giving?”
Paul promises God will provide blessings for givers. It’s true. I’ve found the one who ends up with the most hilarity is…me!
God loved the world—and me—so much that He gave us His Son to be born among us as a tiny, helpless baby, laid in a feeding trough, raised in a remote village among common ordinary people. To live as one of us. To die to save us from ourselves. I will never, ever understand it, but I believe it’s true.
At Christmas, God gave the unexpected to the undeserving.
I have no choice but to do likewise.
FATHER GOD: What fun we have, looking for folks to bless! Thank You for Your amazing love…and the chance to pass it on. Amen.
A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones. Proverbs 22:17 King James Version
Friday morning. As I climbed out of my car at the grocery store, I noticed a young man in an orange vest, collecting carts into the space next to mine.
“Morning,” I mumbled, as I looked for my list and my bags.
“How do you do?” he responded, with a nod and big smile.
I hadn’t heard such an old-fashioned, formal greeting in many years…and told him so.
“They tell me I’m an old soul,” he answered, the smile lighting up his face. “You know, I love meeting people and I just love customer service.”
Wow, I thought, here is a job—collecting carts in the parking lot, bagging groceries and helping people to their cars—I would consider one of the most boring and menial I could think of. Yet he was doing it with joy.
I walked into the store smiling.
And to my delight, he stood ready at the checkout stand. I told him he was the most cheerful “bagger” (that’s what we used to call them) I’ve ever met. The checker remarked he was a delight to work with. We had a great conversation on the way to my car.
His upbeat, friendly attitude lifted me and bubbled over to everyone else I met—a little girl walking out with a big birthday balloon, the people in the next store. My day, my whole outlook was renewed.
The writer of Proverbs was right: his merry heart did me good like a medicine.
For the week had been a little on the tough side for me. Monday saw a flare-up of the allergy symptoms I’d battled with all summer, though I’d taken such care to avoid the milk and eggs I can’t have any more. I felt discouraged, yes, and more sorry for myself than I wanted to be. By the end of the week I’d recovered some perspective but my spiritual bones were still a bit dry around the edges.
So that young man and his merry, cheerful spirit was just what I needed. If he can find such joy in such circumstances, I thought, so can I.
Everyone wants to make a difference in the world, to make their lives count. We think to do that we must do big things on a big stage.
But last Friday reminded me how much small things matter. We can make the difference we long for in the parking lot of a grocery store.
If we bring the right attitude.
FATHER GOD: Thank You for that young man in the parking lot. Cultivate his joy in me. Amen.
To be published in “Bozeman Daily Chronicle,” October 28, 2018.